i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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