just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
