And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
