We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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