Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
