My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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