why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize