Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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