we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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