it was like his penis was on wheels.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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