you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
