dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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