Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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