He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
