I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
