This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
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