her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
