i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
PANTIES FOUND
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize