She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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