Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
