One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
