The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
