Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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