At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
