i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
