My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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