He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
