I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
