I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
