in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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