WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My life is pants optional.
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