Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
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We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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