I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
