Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
