i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
