Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
