his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize