So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy