I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s