How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?