what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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