If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
