I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
