I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
home. puking in laundry basket.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
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Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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