dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
