What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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