Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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