Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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