He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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