grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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