just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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