is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
