my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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