Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
