nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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