there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
