remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
