Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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