idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
